DOP Comedy Episode 2; Santa's Comments

Do you remember my post DOP Comedy Episode One? As I have promised earlier, now I am presenting the second episode before you.  This is the apt time to release the second edition of DOP comedy, as this is the most joyful time every one is passing through.


In order to add more flavors to this celebration, Santa Claus is visiting your office and says some comments after each answer.  I have no intension to hurt any particular person or persons through these episodes.  This is only the way of saying facts through comedy. Let us hear the conversation and comment by Santa.

1.  Sir, We have received more than 2600 eMO’s as pension payment.  Every eMO’s are more than Rs 4000 in value.  How can we able to pay the eMO within a short time as 15 eMO’s if invoiced itself will count as 60,000 /-.  We cannot entrust more than this to Postman a day.  This may take around 15 days to finish, with two beats, at least.

Ans. eMO’s are sent for a pension payment.  You have to payout the maximum amount per day so that the maximum numbers of eMO’s are paid daily.   We are regularly monitoring the progress in the website, so that all eMO’s are paid within 7 days of booking.  So entrust maximum eMO’s to Postman and make the payments immediately.  It is also warned that office should not keep cash more than the authorized minimum and the postman is given cash not more than as prescribed in the rules.  Any deviation from rules will invite strict action.  Though you may strive hard to pay maximum number of eMO’s so that it is totally paid over by 7 days.

 (Comment by Santa: As if we read a prayer “Lokakshema”: “loka samasta sukhino bhavantu…  ha . ha.”)

2.  Sir, Our building is not having proper toilet facilities.  One problem is that our Toilet is situated at a place distant from the office building.  The toilet itself is about 200 meters away, it is causing difficulty while working to use the necessary facility.


Ans. It is not a problem, Office has to function whole day, since facility of Toilet is only required sometimes during a day, you need to manage the needs by using it during the lunch time or at the closing hours only.

 (Comment by Santa: Thank God, now god has created species in the shape of postal officials who are given the boon to do nature’s calls only at lunch time   ha. ha.)

3.  Sir, what is the actual nomenclature of the Post of Technical person in our Department.  We are been addressed with several names of cadre in various memos and letters that we receive from your end.  Kindly clarify the same please.

Ans.  Technical persons are called by various names depending on the situation.  When installations of softwares, troubleshooting and TA bills submission are concerned, they are been addressed as System Administrators, When there is assistance provided to offices and Superintendents they are termed as System Assistants, When they develop for our software’s they get the name as Software Developers, When the Divisional level works they are called as Dy System Managers and so on. When it comes to work they are bound by 24 Hours working rule.  When it comes to paying salary and giving Travel allowances only, they are treated as Postal Assistant.  We, recon them as “work horse” of Department, since they contribute our Department both by health and wealth by meeting the travel expense from their pocket and also by working beyond office hours.

(Comment by Santa: Good god they didn’t name them as Stupid Assistants or something like that, for the assignments they undertake.  A new cadre can also be Shramdaan Assistant)


4.  Sir, lot number of systems has been reduced due to cleaning activities and removal as e-waste.  Kindly review the available systems so that newer ones are supplied.

Ans.  You are hereby informed that you should see how good our offices are now after the e-Waste and old systems were removed.  Eventhough systems are not available at offices for working purpose, the customers will be very happy to note that our offices are looking good and clean.  Customers will be very happy to see the how beautiful and neat, our postoffices are when they wait more time at postoffices for getting their required works done.

(Comment by Santa: As if we are maintaining monuments of beauty ha ha...  Both work and tidiness should be in coordination to each other, isn’t? )


5.  Sir, We are not able to work due to problem with the Server not getting the network connectivity.  SA’s have been informed but they say that they still on the way, walking towards bus stop from an office.  Customers are waiting, Kindly do the needful.

Ans.  You are directed to ensure that all customers may be kept waiting without any complaints and in the meantime you can canvas the waiting customers for opening of new Savings account and Philatelic Deposit schemes.  If you get more time, then canvas about PLI and RPLI schemes.  If still time is sufficient then you advertise the essence of “My stamps”, so that the customers are kept entertained and not bored waiting like this.  You can in between - ask how neat and clean the office is from outside!

(Comment by Santa: SPM will be a fortunate if he happens to escape from the “delight” of customers.  SPM can be trained for how to escape from horrible situations like these ..ha. ha.

For SA’s it is good that a proposal for a new training for walking fast and if needed sprinting to offices through a new physical education program can be introduced.  Now, since they are going by Bus, they have to practice not only walking fast, but jumping into Bus alsol, so physical exercise is necessary to keep them fit   ha. ha.)


6.  Sir, At our office, there are shortage of furniture, The SPM chair is broken and two of the Postman chairs also requires re-caning.  Kindly cause some remedial action so that the seating arrangement is done normally.

Ans. There are no good chairs even in this office of ours. No funds are allotted to purchase the furniture.  You are directed to forward an explanation as to why the SPM Chair has damaged.  You may also take explanations from Postman as to how the chairs got complaint and not keeping it tidy, requiring the Department to spend for repairs for it.

(Comment by Santa: Thank God, it was not asked to sit on a bench or floor itself ha.  Ha !!!)

7.  Sir, We are recently converted to remitting the cash surplus and receipts to Bank.  This is to inform you that there is only limited number of bus, and in   that, one goes at the morning and the same bus arrives at the evening, which is having bus stops near to Bank, from this office.  Kindly allow to charge the auto fare.

Ans. You are hereby instructed that the remittance to Bank may be done during the time when Bus starts service at morning.  You may go at the morning to remit the cash by bus and then after finishing your duty at the office, in the evening you can bring cash from the Bank as during morning time bus is available to Bank and at the evening time bus is available for return.  Auto charge is disallowed.

(Comment by Santa: India Post and Physics “It is impossible to simultaneously locate the position and momentum of a subatomic particle - Heisenberg uncertainty principle” the idea is “you can never be sure of anything”)


8.  Sir, The recent supply of Papers and Stickers of MPCM and SB are of very low quality.  The stickers supplied are not able to tear apart after one transaction and the Papers are so thin that it is getting torn in the hands of Postman and even the Daily accounts are getting torn at reaching the Head office.
Ans.  The Papers and stickers are purchased from Stores Depot, they are purchasing as a bulk lot taking the lowest amount of quotation received.  This time we got the appreciation from our higher authorities that we could save a large amount, as this time the lowest quoted amount was much below our expectations.  You are instructed to use the stickers and Papers mildly, so that it is not torn in your hands or Postman.  H.O ‘s are also instructed to use a mild approach with Daily Accounts so that it is not torn there also.



(Comment by Santa: Sometimes the roll paper which comes for spreading on top of the table during lunch and dine is also very cheap, can be the next good choice for printing paper needs  ha .ha.)
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